Her “awakening” began recently.Īfter Rao’s mother died unexpectedly a few years ago, she moved to Denver from New York to be around her best friends – a group of mostly white women from college. She wasn’t always this confrontational, she says. Another: “White folks – before telling me that your Indian husband or wife or friend or colleague doesn’t agree with anything I say about racism or thinks I’m crazy, please Google ‘token,’ ‘internalized oppression’ and ‘gaslighting’.” “The American flag makes me sick,” read a recent tweet of hers. Don’t they deserve a little pat on the back? They’ve shown up, admitted their wrongdoing and are willing to change. We have to get comfortable with that to become part of the solution.”Ĭarbonara is heaped on to plates, and a sense of self-righteousness seems to wash over the eight white women. “Well done for recognizing that,” Jackson says, to soothe one woman.

“What I went through to be a mother, I didn’t care if they were black,” she says, opening a window for Rao to challenge her: “So, you admit it is stooping low to adopt a black child?” And Richards accepts that the undertone of her statement is racist.Īs more confessions like this are revealed, Rao and Jackson seem to press those they think can take it, while empathizing with those who can’t. Photographs by Rebecca Stumpf/The GuardianĪcross from Campbell-Swanson, Morgan Richards admits she recently did nothing when someone patronizingly commended her for adopting her two black children, as though she had saved them. Women listen to Rao and Jackson Women listen to Rao and Jackson during dinner. Um … I’m struggling,” she stutters, before finally giving up. I have explored my need for validation … I’m working through that … Yeah. Not because I want to be … a white savior. She can go on for days about her work as a political consultant, but when it comes to talking about racism, she chokes. They are there because they “know are part of the problem, and want to be part of the solution,” as host Jess Campbell-Swanson says before dinner starts.Ĭampbell-Swanson comes across as an overly keen college student applying for a prestigious internship. But they acknowledge they also have unchecked biases. Some have adopted black children, many have partners who are people of color, some have been doing work towards inclusivity and diversity for decades. The women who sign up for these dinners are not who most would see as racist. If you did this in a conference room, they’d leave.But wealthy white women have been taught never to leave the dinner table. So far, 15 dinners have been held in big cities across the US. But Jackson and Rao have hardly been able to take a break since they started these dinners in the spring of 2019. It seems unlikely anyone would voluntarily go to a dinner party in which they’d be asked, one by one, “What was a racist thing you did recently?” by two women of color, before appetizers are served. “If they don’t hold these positions themselves, the white men in power are often their family, friends and partners.” White women, on the other hand, are uniquely placed to challenge racism because of their proximity to power and wealth, Jackson says. View image in fullscreen Dinner guests listen to Regina Jackson. If they were, they would have done it by now,” Jackson says. “White men are never going to change anything. White men, they feel, are similarly a lost cause. They don’t bother with the 53% of white women who voted for Trump. Rao and Jackson believe white, liberal women are the most receptive audience because they are open to changing their behavior.

“But wealthy white women have been taught never to leave the dinner table.” “If you did this in a conference room, they’d leave,” Rao says. They started Race to Dinner to challenge liberal white women to accept their racism, however subconscious. (Each dinner costs $2,500, which can be covered by a generous host or divided among guests.) A frank discussion is led by co-founders Regina Jackson, who is black, and Saira Rao, who identifies as Indian American.

A white woman volunteers to host a dinner in her home for seven other white women – often strangers, perhaps acquaintances. “Immediately after I am like, that’s no good! This is a human, just doing their thing. “Recently, I have been driving around, seeing a black person, and having an assumption that they are up to no good,” says Alison Gubser.

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